Women are often taught to despise their bodies from an early age, with society setting impossible standards for beauty and youth. The relentless pressure to stay thin, smooth, and flawless creates an unhealthy cycle of self-doubt and shame. But for women of color, this burden comes with an added layer of racial stereotyping.
Women of color are often labeled ‘exotic,’ a word that might sound flattering but is actually rooted in objectification. It reduces a person’s identity to an alluring ‘otherness’ that is hypersexualized and commodified. Instead of being seen as people with diverse features, cultures, and experiences, women of color are boxed into stereotypes—exotic, mysterious, and overly sensual. These stereotypes aren’t just projected by men; they’re perpetuated by media, culture, and even other women.
And speaking of unrealistic expectations, here’s a fun fact: I don’t shave my legs. Sure, I wear pants most days but trust me, there are probably many more fuzzy-legged women out there than you might think. And why not? Who decided smooth legs were the gold standard, anyway? The same system that sexualizes women of color is the one that tells all women to tame, trim, and tone their bodies to fit a specific mold.
It’s strange, really. Women, who ideally should be each other’s biggest allies, often end up policing each other’s bodies. The patriarchy's influence is so deeply ingrained that it manages to create divisions among women, turning body shaming into a shared language. The phrase “we should be on the same side” feels right… until you realize that there shouldn’t even be sides. Why does body image need to be a battleground?
The truth is that body shaming is harmful to everyone, not just the target. It reinforces a culture where bodies are constantly judged, measured, and compared against arbitrary standards. This goes beyond simple vanity—it’s about power and control. It’s a system that thrives on women’s insecurity, distracting us from larger battles for equality, autonomy, and respect.
The solution? It starts with redefining beauty to include everyone and everything natural, regardless of race, age, or body type. We don’t need ‘sides’ when it comes to supporting each other’s humanity. What we need is a shift in perspective: to see each other as people with unique experiences, not as competitors in a beauty contest we never signed up for.
So here’s the challenge: Let’s practice unlearning the internalized biases we’ve carried for too long. Compliment someone’s creativity instead of their looks. Celebrate the strength of their voice or the wisdom in their story. Let’s hold space for conversations about how to break free from the mold instead of trying to force ourselves or others into it. Every small act of resistance chips away at the system that profits from our self-doubt.
And to the women reading this: You are more than enough. You are powerful, complex, and whole—just as you are. No standard, stereotype, or societal expectation can define your worth. Let’s remind each other of that every single day.
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