The patriarchy is absurd.
It’s riddled with double standards that leave me more confused than amused. But the most baffling part? No one seems to call it out. If you still subscribe to its rules, laws, and agenda in this century, I’m not sure what to call that—other than a stubborn loyalty to an antiquated, fossilized relic of control. The whole system was never really about love or fairness, anyway. It was more like a high-stakes business deal, using marriage to merge assets and power, not passion and partnership.
Marriage: A High-Stakes Game
I am married, and it works for me. But let’s be clear—this is my third time around. The brain doesn’t fully develop until age 25, so all the impulsive decisions I made before my mid-thirties were just evidence of that fact. I also have four children, which meant finding a partner who wasn’t a sleazy, abusive adulterer was a top priority. That, my friend, was the tricky part, especially when patriarchal rules insist that women shouldn’t marry often. And heaven forbid she has multiple fathers for her children! Meanwhile, many men struggle to parent kids that aren’t biologically theirs… unless they have one together, of course. Not all men, but you get the idea.
Money? Don’t marry for it, they say. But if you have your own, don’t flaunt it—because it makes men feel ‘some type of way.’ After all, we were taught that women aren’t supposed to be smart enough to make and keep money. (There are exceptions, of course, so save the drama for your mama.)
Then there’s raising kids. You’re expected to do it, but apparently, it’s not considered ‘real work.’ Never mind that keeping children alive, teaching them to respect others, not kill animals, and become kind humans is basically a full-time job. And when things go wrong, it’s always the mother’s fault. She worked outside the home? Her fault. She’s single? Definitely her fault. She left an abusive partner and became homeless. It's still her fault. See a pattern?
As a wife, you’re supposed to cook gourmet meals—or at least cook like his mother did. But let’s be honest, Mom’s cooking probably relied more on deep-frying, over-salting, or box-opening than actual nutrition. Yet, somehow, boxed meals don’t count as ‘real cooking’ when a woman makes them.
And getting older? Forget it. A woman isn’t allowed to age. If a husband has a wandering eye, it’s somehow his right—he’s earned it because he feels age creeping up on him. Therapy? No, some (not all) men might prefer to chase younger women who see them as saviors.
Sex: Not Just a One-Way Street
Women enjoy sex. Well, most of us did… until the patriarchy got involved and ruined it. Somehow, we’re supposed to be responsible for everything that happens before, during, and after the act.
If a woman has a healthy sexual appetite, she’s told to save it for marriage—or at least for someone she sees a future with. But how can anyone know if they’re sexually compatible without actually having sex? Discussing sex openly is still taboo. Talking about preferences, safe words, monogamy, or even disinterest in sex is considered scandalous. And if a woman isn’t interested? For shame! (I waggle my finger.) But here are a few reasons, though they’re far from exhaustive:
PH balance issues. Nobody wants an unfresh vagina, least of all the person attached to it. The recovery period alone can take a week.
Cuddling doesn’t automatically mean sex. Sometimes, a woman just wants to cuddle with someone who boosts her happiness—at least 40% of the time—without it turning into sex. (And no, I’m not talking about rape.) I’m talking about the kind of sex you have to keep the peace, the kind where you’re not really in the mood, but you might start enjoying it by the end.
It’s about us, not just your penis. Sure, your penis is delightful, but maybe earlier today, you criticized my driving, which is a strike. Or maybe you ruined my clothes by washing them with your dirty work clothes. You think you’ve earned points, but actually, you’ve lost them. Sir, you have half a point left, and if you fart without excusing yourself, you’re officially in the negatives.
Some women just don’t want sex—and they don’t need a reason. It’s that simple. The idea that women must justify their disinterest in sex is yet another patriarchal trape.
Women Are Not Property
Women are not property. (No one is, but we’re focusing on women here.) Marriage doesn’t grant anyone ownership over another person. Sharing a last name or a home doesn’t mean you have rights over someone’s body. No one owes you sex or respect simply because of your genitalia. Sounds absurd, right? It’s because it is.
Women’s Rights: Because We’re All People
Let’s talk women’s rights. This entire patriarchal system is built on the idea that having a penis gives you authority. Homosexuality is prohibited in this structure because it threatens the status quo. But who you love and how you love them should be nobody’s business—except the consenting adults involved.
Here’s the truth: the world hasn’t changed. TikTok and video games didn’t make people more homosexual; the internet just gave people a chance to be their authentic selves. It’s time to let go of the hate. The patriarchy is built on hatred—of women, children, LGBTQIA+ people, and men who respect others. The good news? It’s dying, just not fast enough.
Everyone deserves love, respect, equal pay, and the right to have a family (if they want) or not feel guilty for not wanting one. It’s time to let go of this archaic paradigm. We just don’t do that here anymore—it’s mean and in poor taste."
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